School half days - less school, more juggling

Photo by Juliana Romao on Unsplash

As a child I loved my school half days. They meant getting home earlier. They meant we were closer to the summer holidays – less and less homework, more and more play.

As I grew older, they also started meaning we were getting closer to exams which was not so great - although the summer holidays at the end of the examination ordeal helped keep me going.

Now, as a working parent, I have a very different perspective of half days. And I know many parents share this. Now they mean the children’s exams are getting closer and stress levels soar (my daughter is still too young for exams, but I have heard many-a-tale of parents battling their children to study, or of overwhelmed children panicked and stressed by exams).

“In the case of working parents, half days mean that the juggling act is about to take a whole new level of intensity. “

Half days still mean summer is getting closer. Which is great. Lots of fun, long days to look forward to. But, in the case of working parents, half days mean that the juggling act is about to take a whole new level of intensity.

As June approaches, working parents have one main thing on their mind:  what am I meant to do about work? While some of us have flexible jobs and employers, this does not apply to everyone. Even the very fact that we have to bring up “the conversation” at work - and ask for even more flexibility - can be uncomfortable. I know it should not feel that way (because it is a reality of life that humanity needs children if it wants to propagate as a species… and those children have parents)… but it does.

Half days really do pull the rug from under your feet. You would have found a rhythm - and this applies to working and non-working parents. In my case it’s pretty much: School, work, home, van-arrival, feed ridiculously hungry child despite empty lunchbox, finish bits of work from home amidst countless interruptions, feed child, cook, homework or reading (sometimes), extracurricular, home, bath, family dinner with still hungry child, bedtime, collapse. There is a certain comfort in this routine even though the repetition can get a bit tedious.

Then come the half days… a prelude to the summer holidays (thank you summer school!)

An hour or two get sucked out of the morning. Poof. Gone. Just like that. It’s taken from the “working time” for many full and part-time parents. Also obliterated is that little pocket of me-time carved out between getting home from work and the school van’s arrival.

This is time that has to be made up for. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my child. But I also need to get my work done.

I’ve spoken to many mothers,  and some fathers, about this. Some wake up earlier to get the hours in before the kids get home from school. Some work when the kids are in bed, or make up for lost time on weekends. Others call in the troops -  the support of grandparents. Some parents take “shifts” to go to work while the other arrives home earlier. Some resort to working from home to be there when the van comes earlier and save on precious commute time.

“Even the weather brings on more guilt – the feeling that I should be taking my daughter out on such a lovely day rather than have her stuck at home while I work.”

But when it comes to working from home, depending on the age of the child, this often comes with  constant disruptions and “mummy-I’m-bored” declarations.

Inevitably, then comes the guilt…. especially when sometimes screentime is the only way to survive through a delicate work call that requires complete silence in the house. Even the weather brings on more guilt – the feeling that I should be taking my daughter out on such a lovely day rather than have her stuck at home while I work. Then then are also the “eruptions” – I’m talking about those moments when you snap: when you are battling to finish something of work, the pressure is high, the interruptions constant and you just erupt into anger at your child. More guilt follows.

I honestly don’t know what the solution is. I’m just sharing my thoughts and experiences here. Just as we enjoyed our half days, why should we deny our children the joys of half days? Fair enough, life is different now - in many cases both parents work. But why should the children suffer? Things like after-school clubs help. But we don’t all make use of them for many reasons.

I guess the underlying point is that, as parents who love our children, we don’t just want to be physically present for them. While they are at school we know they are given the attention, but when they come home to a parent stuck to a laptop… it hurts. And that gets longer during half days.

The bright side is that during half days, as summertime starts, even the days get longer giving us back some of that lost time.