Bathroom diaries: once a private space, now no longer

Photo by Tanner Vote on Unsplash

From a place where to exercise daily personal hygiene to a private sanctuary and an escape hatch - as a girl grows into a woman the bathroom can mean many different things.

We start off as children where the bathroom is both loved and dreaded. As a child I remember I did not always want to go shower when my mum wanted me to. But I also remember spending many-a-fun-hour in the bathtub playing with cups and bubbles, making fake nails by digging my nails into the Pears soap bar (and making a hole in it in the process) and turning the facecloth into different dress styles while singing.

As a teen, the bathroom became a place where I faced my insecurities brought about by a changing body… and ‘the rise of the hormones’.  It was the place where I had to figure out the whole period process: from sanitary towels to tampons. Also at that age the words ‘‘let’s go to the bathroom” became girl-code for “I need to tell you something’” before heading to the toilet with a friend… or two.

As I grew older, the bathroom became the place where to take a warm, long relaxing bath after work or a quick shower between social events… which included washing my hair after midnight to wash off the cigarette stench in my Paceville days.

“The time you no longer spend soaking in the bath is not lost however, it is passed on – to our children…”

As the years rolled on, it was the place where to ‘pee on the stick’ – and wait. The place where to cry alone if the result was not the desired one. During pregnancy it became the place where to pee – pretty much all the time.

Then everything changed.

As a mother the bathroom took on a whole new dimension. I had to forget everything I learnt before – that bathrooms are private spaces.

After speaking to many-a-mum (one of who suggested I write this post) I now know I will not be alone in the bathroom for a while.

It started with having turbo quick showers, while singing nursery rhymes, to my baby daughter who cried to be picked up from her bouncer right outside the bath.

Soon, I learnt that sitting on the toilet was also no longer a personal affair – there was always a toddler on me or right near me asking for snacks. In the case of mums with two or more kids, I hear it’s all of the above.

I forgot when I last had a shower without my daughter opening the curtain to tell me something really important: like that she lined up her toys neatly.

As impersonal as the bathroom becomes – it can also become a place of refuge. This I know is true for many mothers. It is the place to run away to, for a few precious minutes, when you feel overwhelmed, alone or guilty. Shower water can camouflage tears in case the curtain is pulled open suddenly. The bathroom is the place where you ‘take a moment’.

The time you no longer spend soaking in the bath is not lost however, it is passed on – to our children who now spend many-a-fun-hour sitting and playing in the bathtub… with cups and bubbles… making dresses out of facecloths while singing.

This is where I’m at now. I really do miss my bathroom alone-time.

But, I guess, so did my mum.