Missing conversations. What no one told us.
Photo by Katrin Bolovtsova on Pexels
There are conversations we should be having, especially with younger women, but we’re not. They are missing.
Ironically, I’m writing this after having several meaningful conversations with friends and colleagues about the very talks they wish they’d had in their younger years.
I’m talking about the kind of conversations that put real life into perspective - the ones that help you understand how things truly unfold, so you can make informed decisions before it feels like it’s too late.
One of these conversations is about fertility.
Unlike the women of past generations, today’s women are raised to study, achieve, and succeed. We’re told we can have it all, be independent, and reach for the stars... and that’s empowering.
So, women pour their energy into building careers. They focus on climbing the ladder or growing a business while balancing social lives and relationships. And then suddenly, some find themselves in their late 30s, wondering if they’ll be able to become mothers. Some realise they want to be parents at that point. Others always knew it, but never stopped to think about the timeline.
Let me be clear: not all women want to be mothers. But for some of those who do - or even for those who just want to keep the options open - having this conversation earlier would have made a difference. I’ve heard it time and time again.
“I’m 38. I spent so much energy building my business. A few years ago, I realized my clock is ticking. My friends are all having babies. I always wanted to be a mother, but now I’m scared it’s getting too late. I know, I should have known. But I wish someone had stopped to have this chat with me earlier,” one woman told me, tears in her eyes.
Decisions that impact our distant future
Another missing conversation surfaced at a recent conference about the pension penalty.
Research shows that when women become mothers, many step back from work, reducing hours or taking lower-paying, more flexible roles to be there for their families. But what’s rarely discussed is how this impacts their future pensions.
And honestly, at that stage - when you’ve just had a child - retirement feels like a lifetime away. It’s often nowhere near your decision-making radar. You are immersed in early motherhood with all its joy and overwhelm.
One woman, now in her late 40s, said: “When I became a mother, I was overjoyed and overwhelmed. I had been wanting to become a mother. So, I didn’t think twice when it came to reducing my working hours to be with my child. Now that almost 10 years have passed, I don’t regret the decision. But now I see that it came at a cost I was not aware of at the time: I earn less money, I’m more financially dependent than I was on my partner, and my pension might suffer.”
The point here is this: the narrative encouraging today’s young women to study, work hard, and pursue their dreams is important and absolutely worth supporting.
But there are missing pieces in that narrative, which include: 'Time passes for all of us. Some decisions can’t wait forever, and some come with long-term consequences that you need to be aware of.’
Women deserve the whole picture so they can make informed decisions. Only that way can they have the true choice - and chance - to really “have it all.”
What do you think?
Are there other missing conversations you can think of?
Or perhaps… is there a woman-related subject you feel needs to be ‘unclouded’, spoken about, or explained? Is there something you feel passionately about? If so, share your views… or share your story - to inspire and help other women.
Woman Unclouded believes that by sharing - stories, experiences and expertise - women can inspire one another - to take the leap, or to simply make sense of things.
All you have to do is drop us an email at hello@womanunclouded.com