Love happens when your mind, body and heart agree

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The advice

Love is actually love when your heart, body and mind are in agreement. Anything else is obsession, lust or convenience.

Where it’s coming from…

Many of us remember “falling in love” with the guy or girl who was not that good for us. The type of person we liked the idea of being with. The type of boyfriend/partner who made us feel good… at times… but miserable way too often. I’m talking about the type of relationship where you are head over heels over someone and ignore that gut feeling… that echoes the voices of so many of your friends who keep telling you he is not good for you. But your heart disagrees and tries to silence your mind.

Then there are those people some go out with because they just want to make it work on a rational level - but the heart is not in it. This is the type of boyfriend or girlfriend that checks everything on the list of what-a-great-boyfriend/girlfriend-should-be-like - and s/he is actually nice.

And then there are the looks-based attractions. The ones that are based on chemistry. Where the heart and the mind may or may not be involved.

Through experience (some personal, some shared by close friends) I’ve learnt that when the heart wants someone but the mind does not - it is a recipe for emotional disaster. Heartbreak and tears are on the horizon. This is not what love should feel like. Love should feel like… well… love.

And, on the flip side of the coin, if the mind is dictating who you should be with and your heart is not convinced…. this is a relationship of convenience. This is not love. And if the attraction is physical full-stop… the word is lust.

Which is why I really and truly believe that true love happens when all three - body, heart and mind - are aligned.