There are many spotlights that can shine together

Photo by David von Diemar on Unsplash

The advice…

There are many spotlights. If one shines on a friend or colleague, it does not mean it was taken from you.

Where it’s coming from…

In my teens I remember the “spotlight wars”.

Many of us just would know what they are: one girl (as I went to an all-girls school) wanting to command the spotlight for being cooler, prettier, smarter… while the others look on from the shadows in a mixture of admiration and jealousy. This dynamic did not only exist on a school-year level… it was also present within groups of friends. Whether intentionally or not, one girl in a group of friends is seen as having the spotlight: the most popular, the skinniest. Of course back then these were among the criteria it takes to grab the spotlight. Also to keep in mind is that the spotlight is in the eye of the beholder.

Later in life this translated on a work level. It might not be the one with the coolest outfit or the one with the most admirers. It evolves. The spotlight wars are now about ideas, work performance, creativity - anything that is valued on a work level.

I am one who hates confrontation. With. A. Passion.

Which is why I have often told myself that: who on earth decided that there is only one spotlight? Just because a friend or a colleague is shining, it does not mean they have taken the spotlight from you, or from anyone for that matter. There can be more than one. And the more people see this, the more people are willing to “share” the spotlight… the brighter the world.