How she does it: Roberta Azzopardi
Writer and mother Roberta Azzopardi has brought her two passions together to give us the second edition of Songs of Motherhood - Għanjiet l-Omm - a collection of writings, photos, drawings and illustrations on the theme of motherhood. The book, curated by Roberta, brings us the voices of several women who share their experiences, thoughts and reflections on what it really means to be a mother. Here, Roberta talks about the importance of doing things “for yourself” and shares how she gets things done by jumping all in - without overthinking.
“It all comes down to having the initial courage to dive deeper into how you’re feeling and why - to discover yourself in the process, and then to express it in whatever medium you’re most comfortable with.” These are the words of Roberta Azzopardi.
But they are not just words on paper. The young mother is living by her beliefs.
I connected with Roberta on Facebook following an article I wrote about dealing with motherhood rage. I had heard of Roberta and her book - Songs of Motherhood - so I was really happy to connect with her on this important topic which she too had tackled in her blog Words.
When I heard that she was launching the second edition of her book, while expecting her second child and raising a toddler, I knew I wanted to feature her story on Mother’s Day. Here is what she shared:
Tell us a bit about you. Who is Roberta Azzopardi?
For much of my adolescence and young adult life, I was quite restless. I’d flit from doing one thing to another, never satisfied. I’d start projects and abandon them when the passion flickered out and this is reflected a lot in how I used to play with my siblings. I’m the eldest and used to take liberties with deciding how we’d spend our days - needless to say my constant swings used to frustrate my sister especially.
“Motherhood changed my perspective on all my passions I think. It enhanced them and brought something else to the table - a different, more compassionate muse.”
I graduated as a teacher but even that did not last long, After two years, I left for Dubai where I spent a year working with Emirates, a job I thought I’d love but slowly started to hate. The hours, the actual service, and the fact that I never worked with the same people more than twice used to get to me. So I left Dubai abruptly and decided to launch myself into marketing. Nine years later and here we are - I’ve been working in SEO for the same company for the last six and a half years and I feel like I finally found my calling.
Soon after coming back from Dubai, I met my husband who, under the pretence of needing travel tips, swept me away on my next biggest adventure. We’ll have been married for five years this June (2024), have a three-year-old fearless boy and just had our second, a girl.
What are your passions?
I think I have quite a few. People who know me are constantly asking me how I manage to do it all. Honestly, I just throw myself in even when I have no idea what I’m doing - and I should probably say “no” to more things, but here we are.
I love reading and try to give myself a challenge to read a number of books by the end of the year. Probably because I loved books and reading so much, I was easily sucked into writing words of my own. I enjoyed the process so much that it quickly turned into something I’d escape to whatever the mood.
I also enjoy running. Actually this should be rephrased to I love-hate running. It’s the kind of relationship you’re all geared up to get into, which makes you question all your life choices while you’re doing it, and then leaves you tethering on that runners’ high at the end.
Motherhood changed my perspective on all my passions I think. It enhanced them and brought something else to the table - a different, more compassionate muse. Raising my son has been nothing short of a creative, empathetic journey that has taught me invaluable lessons on, not only how to be a better mother, but also a better person.
How did the writing start?
Ever since I can remember, I’ve enjoyed the written word, whether that’s reading it, writing it, playing with it. I love how certain sentences sound when you pick specific words and string them together. In primary school my class teacher would read out my little compositions to the class, saying I had a little light bulb in my head that I switched on when I started to write and switched off when I stopped (this metaphor has stuck with me for almost 30 years now).
Later I’d write (horrible) Nancy Drew spin-offs and then, later still, I built a whole fantasy world, with its history, alphabet, gods - and a little plot that never really took off. Now I’m working on a more somber (but equally fun) historical fiction novel set in Renaissance Florence. It’s been in the works for four years now, but we’ll get to the end of this, eventually.
What inspired your blog, Words?
I started the blog when I worked with Emirates. Back then it was called An Office in the Sky and it narrated my life as cabin crew and the places I got to visit. It kept me closer to home - I think it was my way of reaching out to as many friends and family at once, at a time when I was already feeling a bit homesick.
When I came back I kept it as my way to express myself creatively. I feel like I always need an outlet for my words (no surprises why the blog was renamed to what it is now), whether that’s a caption on Instagram or a blog post.
How did Songs of Motherhood come about?
Late in 2022, I shared a poem on Instagram that seemed to resonate with a few mothers. Quite a number got back saying they too had their own poems or articles about feelings very similar (or vastly different) to my own view of motherhood which got me thinking.
“I launched a call for writings without having any idea of the process of producing such a book. The only thing that kept me going was knowing it was possible. One contact led me to another and another until I had a very small team who helped me bring it to life.”
Being a lover of all things books, I just thought, what a beautiful thing it would be if we managed to collect all these voices in a collection. In true Roberta style, I launched a call for writings without having any idea of the process of producing such a book. The only thing that kept me going was knowing it was possible. One contact led me to another and another until I had a very small team who helped me bring it to life.
Initially the concept was never meant to go beyond one book, at least for me personally. But I remember my designer looking at me funny and stating that we’ll have a second in this very matter-of-fact way. And so we launched calls for writings for a second book, and the rest is history. Will we have a third? Yes, that’s the plan. But whether it will be more of the same or not remains to be seen.
What have you learnt from the words of other mothers?
I’ve learnt so much from the stories that have been shared with me, both in this volume and the first. I am constantly in awe of mothers’ strength and resilience to carry on, whatever life throws at them. They keep coming back and back, despite knowing how vulnerable they are.
This self-awareness is striking and not altogether common, which is why we celebrate each and every voice, so that other mothers may find solace and companionship. I hope these books shed light on the realities many mothers face - whether that’s anxiety around returning to work after having a baby, infertility, loss and grief, loneliness.
Society is getting better at opening its eyes to what is truly happening behind the picture perfect photos we see, and this book is only one way that we can give our mothers (every mother) a voice to express their experience. It also encourages mothers to experiment with writing and art, a process I find incredibly cathartic, which helps ground me and find myself again.
What about the bright sides?
In both books, we see the beauty in the ordinary, the “normal” days that slip past without anything too dramatic happening but which leave the sweetest taste. When watching your child do something for the first time, or your children bonding over a game, for example.
When you put them to sleep and they take hold of your hand, whispering their love, or when you make them laugh until you’re both gasping for breath. These are the moments we, as mothers, all live for I think.
“When you put them to sleep and they take hold of your hand, whispering their love, or when you make them laugh until you’re both gasping for breath. These are the moments we, as mothers, all live for I think.”
And I love how the mothers in the books manage to capture and immortalize these episodes in their writing or drawing. The nostalgia in some of the pieces is also very strong - it reminds me of my own childhood with my mother, the memories by the beach or on the rooftop watching the festa fireworks. It’s truly a kaleidoscope of emotions, all relevant, all beautiful in their own way.
What is your message to other mums?
Coming together to showcase the realities mothers face has been one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had to date. I’m a firm believer that it all comes down to having the initial courage to dive deeper into how you’re feeling and why - to discover yourself in the process, and then to express it in whatever medium you’re most comfortable with.
Many of us flit from day to day, feeling the mental load, the invisible burden that we carry, the expectations stacked high for us to achieve more and more. Very often, we need to take a step back, to pause and to reflect on what got us here.
“We’re mothers, yes, but we’re also women with a sense of self, an identity we’ve shaped over years, with so much to contribute to ourselves, our family and society. Find that time to think about you: where you want to go and what you want to do, even when that little voice in your head is screaming for you to get back to whatever work needs to be done.”
It’s easy to dismiss this, to claim we do not have the time to think. But we must. Not only for our children who look to us for literally everything, but also for ourselves, for our own growth and betterment as individuals - and not just as mothers.
We’re mothers, yes, but we’re also women with a sense of self, an identity we’ve shaped over years, with so much to contribute to ourselves, our family and society. Find that time to think about you: where you want to go and what you want to do, even when that little voice in your head is screaming for you to get back to whatever work needs to be done.
You deserve to mute that voice whenever you need to.
How she does it…
We often look on at other people in awe and ask ourselves: How does she do it? How does she find the time? How does she find the willpower?
Woman Unclouded believes that, by sharing our stories, women can inspire one another - to take the leap, make that call, book that class. A leap towards doing what you really want to do or being who you really want to be. It does not have to be something extraordinary. It just needs to be special for you.
Do you know someone who has an inspiring story to share? It could be yourself, of course! Drop us an email at hello@womanunclouded.com